Marion County has uncovered the dirty little secrets of a perpetuated false holiday! Everything you ever knew about shamrocks, leprechauns, green, people named Patrick— forget it!

We’ve been tricked, fooled, duped, bamboozled and hornswoggled, all at the same time! Those tricky little leprechauns!

Is Patrick even your real name?

Maybe. He signed it “Patricius” (which is Latin and, as such, is quite acceptable). However, some documents reveal he might well have been born Maewyn Succat. That’s not even close!

Are you even Irish?

Saint Patrick may or may not have been Irish. Born in Britain, he was enslaved by Irish hands at 16. After six years he escaped to Britain and eventually went back to Ireland. He is the Patron Saint of Ireland because he is credited with bringing Christianity to the Irish. So this one isn’t a complete lie.

As we all know, on March 17 you’re supposed to pack on the green— any shade, any tone! Get green things like earrings, pins and clothing from places like:

• The Artisans Shop– whether it’s a purse, a necklace or tie-dye socks…don’t worry, you’ll find something!

• Ginger’s– tons of jewelry, clothes, a gigantic wall of shoes and I’m sure much more!

• The Fashion Scene

• Marlena’s Accessories– watches galore, jewelry and scarves- ripe for the buying!

However, in light of all the tomfoolery, I must ask…

Does the color green mean anything to you?

Apparently not! There is a stark contrast between the color of the sky and the color of the grass, is there not? Knights in the order of St. Patrick did not wear green, but Saint Patrick’s blue. Green is associated with the fight for Irish independence in the 18th century. So that’s great, but what does it have to do with March 17th?

Do you even know what corned beef is?

What’s that? You’re unsure? Yeah, potatoes might be straight from the Isle, but corned beef and cabbage came from Americans. Yes, it was started by Irish immigrants. But the point remains!

Although it’s been tarnished in this charade of a day, all its deliciousness can be found at:

• Shenanigans– green beer, green lighting, green people!

• McAteer’s– corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, oh my!

• Noteworthy Sweets– sauerkraut, reubens, and Irishness!

So why, why in the world, would we go on celebrating this fudged holiday?

Of course- why cancel all the fun? Simply because some traditions may not be entirely accurate, doesn’t mean we should stop the fun. Irish and Irish-Americans should still be celebrated and recognized. It’s the thought that counts, not so much the accuracy!